Monday, 11 August 2014

This weekend I've been...

Thinking a lot about a recent conversation on how we tend to refer to things as 'this time last year' or 'this time next year' .
So much can change in a year and it's so easy to think about times that have gone, or things that are still to come that we wish away the right here and now.

This time last year.... 
* We had spent our first weekend in our new cottage
* We had a new puppy 
* We had a little trip booked to the Lake District
* We were boyfriend and girlfriend
* We didn't know Carl had Motor Neurone Disease



This time this year.... 
* We have a few toes on the property ladder! The sale of our shiny new bungalow is agreed and we are just waiting for the contracts that allow us to be super excited! 
* We have a very naughty dog....  
* We are married! 20.06.14.
* We have been to Thailand and experienced the most amazing 10 days together. 
* We have a holiday booked. Just under three weeks until we jet off to Majorca for some extra sun! 
* Carl has had a tattoo done of a pocket watch, set to the exact time his diagnosis was made and the moment this journey began. 
* We are approaching the day that, this time last year, we found out Carl has MND. 



Right now... 
* I am so very frustrated
* I've been upset. I've been bitter. I am now frustrated. MND is like an itch I can't scratch. It's like wanting to punch a wall and never stop, or run through fields until you reach the part where the clouds touch the grass. 
* I want to tell the World about Carl. I want everybody to know. 

Right RIGHT now.... 
* Reading the list back before I press publish makes me see what we have done, what we have got and what we have achieved. 
* I do not credit MND for anything at all, but I can see how far we have come in just one year whilst fighting it. 
* I am going to SNOG my Husband... because he's just perfect. 

This time next year.... 
* We will have had a garden party in our first garden. Everybody will be invited! 
* We will have sat up in our summer house with blankets and wine until the sky was so dark we could only see the stars.
* We will have had a picnic using a picnic basket.
* We will be 30! 
* We will have had our first Anniversary! 

These lists don't even begin to include family, friends, work or fun....They literally are exactly what I was thinking RIGHT NOW about the two of us. 
I am not scared of the future. I just believe that, whilst I am busy being frustrated I could be missing an opportunity to laugh. 
I know it's far to easy to say, but next time I feel like I did this weekend, I will re read this blog and I will write a new list to see exactly where we are...... And next time, I will even include the other people who make the fun so easy to have for us x








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